Advent Retreat

I was blessed to attend an Advent Retreat for Homeschooling Mothers this past Saturday. Here are my notes from the speaker Laura Berquist (my notes in italics):

PRAYER: FOOD FOR THE SOUL

I. Introduction: Preparing for Eternity
a. To be happy in Eternity we need to learn to love the things of Eternity

1. Through our jobs
2. Through friendship with God, cultivated by prayer

b. Thesis: Prayer seems to me to be, in a way, about friendship with God. I want to explain why I think that, and what the consequences of that fact are. Then I would like to think about the right way to pray, so we can develop our friendship with God and be nourished with His life.

II. The goal of our lives is to be conformed to Christ, and one's job can do that. But so can friendship.

a. Three kinds of friendship

1. Useful - we are friends out of our own good
2. Pleasant - we are friends with others out of our own good
3. Virtuous

b. The friendship of virtue is like having one soul in two bodies. Friends become like one another. Perfect friendship.

c. God's friends become like Him, that is, conformed to Him, and prepared for heaven.

III. Friendship requires a common life. 

IV. Prayer can provide a common life. Powerful way of living a common life is with God.

V. But there is a problem. A common life implies equality, so have to in some way be God's equals. How can this be? Can't be friends with someone who isn't your equal.

VI. Jesus says we are friends.

VII.. Through grace we are raised up to share in God's divine life. So we are able to pursue a common life with Him.

VIII. Friendship requires time, and prayer is a way of spending time with God. So we should pray so as to strengthen  and deepen our friendship with God, and thus conform ourselves to Him.

A person has to be lovable and trusted in order to say that someone is a friend.

IX. That means we need to know HOW to pray.

X. In the Our Father Jesus teaches us how to pray.

a. There are five conditions of prayer: qualities/principles

1. Confidence - pray confidently
2. Rectitude - ask God for those things that are good for us
3. Order - desire should be orderly, prefer spiritual goods to earthly goods
4. Devotion -  deep religious feeling, arises from charity
5. Humility - pray with humility

b. There are specific things to ask for that are rightly ordered 

1. The glory of God - willing Himself for Himself, ask God be glorified
2. Eternal life - ultimate end is God
3. God's will and His justice - ask for what we want but in accordance with God's will
4. The necessities of life (which includes a side question on the efficacy of prayer) -  efficacious for obtaining what we desire

c. There are specific things to ask for help in avoiding Our Father shows us what we should avoid

1. Sin
2. Temptation - hinders us from performing good works
3. Troubles and trials

XI. Prayer is not primarily a way of 'getting things we want' but a way of developing our relationship with God. Spend 10 minutes a day with Our Lord in conversation. Talk to Him about what is on your mind (your day). Then prayer won't be just a check off list, but a transforming experience whereby we are nourished and prepared for Eternal Life. 

We may be Marthas but we have a Mary mind.

Goal is to be confirmed to Christ.

Talk to God like you would a dear friend.

Reading Scriptures, decade of Rosary, daily Mass

Ask and you shall receive

Ask for the heavenly and spiritual then the earthly

Kindle book: Summa

"Leaf by Neggle"

Give us this day our daily bread: And all these things will be given unto you.

God always hears and answers prayer, but better than what you'd ask for had you known

Charity include neighbors

Mentions Aristotle often

HOW TO AVOID BURNOUT

I. The importance of avoiding burnout and approaching one's homeschooling in the right spirit.

II. What is burnout? Feeling of tiredness, shares common features with depression

III. Types of burnout

a. End of school year resentful with school

b. Out of sync with yourself when we're doing something not suited to us, not natural

c. Out of sync with God we know this is something we should do but don't want to do it

d. Serious crisis

IV. Suggestions for avoiding end of school burnout

a. Starting earlier, and ending earlier in the year mid-August to May

b. Using the summer to get ahead in one or two subjects reading and Math

c. Dropping a subject off the list when the text is finished have less to do

d. Doing math tests at the beginning of the year 4 lessons a week

e. Starting earlier in the day and ending earlier finish by noon start 7am

f. Seeing homeschooling as part of life school is just a feature of life

g. Trying some new tool, technique or book instituted during the year, quarterly trips to museum

h. Having something fun to look forward to kept mom from being too immersed in schooling

1. Wine
2. Weekend away with husband
3. An hour a day for reading
4. Pursuing an interest
5. Joining a book club form one if there isn't one around
6. Naps
7. Exercise

i. Support from other homeschooling moms this is key because we live in a culture that emphasizes $

j. Affirm the importance of what you are doing

V. Suggestions for avoiding out of sync with yourself burnout

a. Pay attention to your learning style and interests and those of your children

b. When you find something that works, stick with it

c. Work on relationships at home can have a good marriage without kids but not a good relationship if marriage isn't good...easy to get so wrapped up with children that you forget your marriage

1. Spend time with your husband
2. Decide not to fight
3. Capture your children's hearts

• They need a job If they make $, their fear is gone/removed
• They need exercise Release those endorphins
• They need a friend One good friend, not 20
• Most of all, they need you Work on your relationship, spend enjoyable time with your child

d. Get help in keeping your house clean Spend $ on cleaning than handing the teaching over

1. Outside help
2. Older children's help They'll see themselves as important contributors to community

e. Don't over commit yourself While you're homeschooling, concentrate on that...that the time for good works will come

Look at reasons you chose to homeschool in the first place

VI. Suggestions for avoiding out of sync with God burnout focus on God's will

a. Daily conversation with God "I do this for You, O God"

b. Focus on your relationship with Him strengthen desire to do God's will

c. See Him in your spouse and children always - in good and in bad

d. Take advantage of the sacraments go if you can go to daily Mass, no act of love for God goes unnoticed, confession

VII. Suggestions for dealing with overwork, or crisis burnout

a. Pray always the first thing, ask God for help in battling burn out

b. Order get basic order in life

• No new commitments learn to say no

• Attend to your physical well being make sure kids are taken care of in these areas too

1. Naps
2. Eat well
3. Exercise

• Attend to your mental well being mind needs to be refreshed just as your body does

1. Go outside
2. Study for fun
3. Work on a hobby

• Attend to your emotional well being what you need to do to recharge 

1. Recharge in the way that is right for you
2. Introverts can have quiet time at home, read or sit outside
3. Extroverts can go to a party, find a discussion group, set up time to talk with a friend

• Attend to your spiritual well being prayer important

1. Sanctify the day
2. Practice gratitude make a choice to decide what you're grateful for and make a conscious decision to focus on what is good in your life.

VIII. The best defense against burnout: Who are you doing this for?

Doing it for your children in service to God

Story from Moral Compass about a knight who was asked to stand at a bridge entrance to castle and he was tested by everyone and for being committed to his duty he received the highest award

Simple Abundance book recommended
Homeschooling parents are goal-oriented
Cheerful presence of the mom brought joy and enjoyment to the homeschool
Homeschooling is the easiest way to accomplish what we want
Every parent is primarily responsible for educating their children.
Recommends Moms Night Out revolving around curriculum
Persons, not money, matter...not what money can buy
Make it your project to capture your DH's heart
Book: "Haystack Full of Needles"
Husband is your best earthly friend or should be.