18 December 2012
Our Spouse, A Gift From God
Our spouse, a gift from God
9/6/2006 - 7:00 AM PST
By Dr. Chris Anthony
Butterworth, Malaysia
Op/Ed
Catholic Online
Lately I had the opportunity to attend a wedding of a friend’s son in an Anglican Church. The bridegroom was an Anglican and the bride a Lutheran by birth.
The ceremony was presided by the Anglican pastor and assisted by 2 others, one from the Lutheran and another from a Methodist church. I must admit that I am not too familiar with the real differences between these Christian denominations but one thing was common among them, that is the belief in Christ as the supreme Lord.
I really appreciated the three clergymen conducting the service harmoniously as though they were from one and the same denomination. I was even taken by surprise when the main celebrant, the Anglican pastor called upon the Methodist pastor to deliver the sermon which was originally scheduled for him.
As I was observing the proceedings in the church, I was wondering how wonderful it would be if only our own Catholic priests could join in such a service with those from other Christian denominations. Of course I know for sure that such a scenario will never materialize. We preach interfaith unity and understanding but unwilling to unite even with other fellow Christians.
I must admit despite the harmony in unity, one great factor was missing – the real presence of Christ in the Eucharist. The presence of Christ in the Eucharistic is what gives the solemnity to the sacrament of matrimony.
Despite this deficiency, I was impressed by the sermon delivered, which was simple, clear and very practical. I have never heard such an advice by our own pastors during our Catholic weddings.
The pastor said “The fact that Christ has sanctioned your marriage means that he has chosen the spouse for you. This means that this partner is the best for you and you can never find a better one in the world however you try”.
Turning to the bridegroom he reiterated “This woman is the best wife for you as she is chosen by Christ himself. It will therefore be futile and even foolish of you to leave her for someone better in the course of your life as you will never find one”.
Similarly he then turned to the bride and gave similar assurances on her husband.
With my own experiences over 20 years of married life, I can safely certify for sure the fact stated by the Methodist pastor that our spouse is God chosen and is the best for us.Our spouse is a gift from Christ himself.If we do not have that faith in Christ then it would be meaningless to call ourselves His followers.
Today divorce is on the rise even among Catholics. What is frightening is that it occurs even after years of marriage. If only the couples, who took their matrimonial vows in the presence of Christ, understood that they were chosen for each other by God himself and that they are the best for each other, they would never have considered divorce as the solution to whatever problems that they encounter.
Satan's Meeting for the BUSY
" God never closes a door without opening a window.
He always gives us something better when he takes something away."
This is deep, guys! It made me think about the way I live my life and
what my priorities are.
This may be a repeat for some of you...but, some things need repeating.
Subject: Satan's meeting (read even if you're busy)
Satan called a worldwide convention of demons. In his opening
address he said, "We can't keep Christians from going to church."
"We can't keep them from reading their Bibles and knowing the truth."
"We can't even keep them from forming an intimate relationship with
their savior." "Once they gain that connection with Jesus, our power
over them is broken." "So let them go to their churches; let them
have their covered dish dinners, but steal their time, so they don't
have time to develop a relationship with Jesus Christ."
"This is what I want you to do",said the devil: "Distract them from
gaining hold of their Savior and maintaining that vital connection
throughout their day!" "How shall we do this?" his demons shouted.
"Keep them busy in the nonessentials of life and invent innumerable
schemes to occupy their minds," he answered. "Tempt them to spend,
spend, spend, and borrow, borrow, borrow." "Persuade the wives to go
to work for long hours and the husbands to work 6-7 days each week,
10-12 hours a day, so they can afford their empty lifestyles." "Keep
them from spending time with their children." "As their families
fragment, soon, their homes will offer no escape from the pressures of
work!" "Over-stimulate their minds so that they cannot hear that
till, small voice."
"Entice them to play the radio or cassette player whenever they drive."
"To keep the TV, VCR, CDs and their PCs going constantly in their home
and see to it that every store and restaurant in the world plays
non-biblical music constantly." "This will jam their minds and break
that union
with Christ."
"Fill the coffee tables with magazines and newspapers." "Pound their
minds with the news 24 hours a day." "Invade their driving moments with
billboards."
"Flood their mailboxes with junk mail, mail order catalogs, sweepstakes,
and every kind of newsletter and promotional offering free products,
services and false hopes." "Keep skinny, beautiful models on the
magazines
and TV so their husbands will believe that outward beauty is what's
important, and they'll become dissatisfied with their wives." "Keep the
wives too tired to
love their husbands at night." "Give them headaches too!" "If they don't
give their husbands the love they need, they will begin to look
elsewhere."
"That will fragment their families quickly!"
"Give them Santa Claus to distract them from teaching their children
the real meaning of Christmas." "Give them an Easter bunny so they
won't talk about his resurrection and power over sin and death."
"Even in their recreation, let them be excessive." "Have them return
from their recreation exhausted." "Keep them too busy to go out in
nature and reflect on God's creation." "Send them to amusement parks,
sporting events, plays, concerts, and movies instead." "Keep them
busy,busy,busy!" "And when they meet for spiritual fellowship, involve
them in gossip and small talk so that they leave with troubled
consciences."
"Crowd their lives with so many good causes they have no time to seek
power from Jesus." "Soon they will be working in their own strength,
sacrificing their health and family for the good of the cause."
"It will work!" "It will work!"
It was quite a plan! The demons went eagerly to their assignments
causing Christians everywhere to get more busy and more rushed, going
here and there. Having little time for their God or their families.
Having no time to tell others about the power of Jesus to change
lives.
I guess the question is, has the devil been successful at his scheme?
You be the judge! Does "busy" mean:
B-eing
U-nder
S-atan's
Y-oke?
Please pass this on...if you aren't too BUSY!
God Bless!!!
Why Singles Should Stay Pure
WHY SINGLES SHOULD STAY PURE
By Christy Shipe
Here are the three most important reasons to stay pure:
1. God says so! The very best reason of all to keep your mind and actions >pure is just because God wants us to do it. This is love for God: to obey his commands. (1 John 5:3) If you truly love God, you will do what He says.After all, He suffered and died for you!
2. You're not missing anything by waiting. The consequences of being impure are far greater than any of the benefits! Consider what you gain by making out or having sex with your boyfriend: a temporary good time. It doesn't last very long. A few hours at the most. Yet the consequences can last a lifetime. You could get diseases, you could get pregnant, you could lose your good name and self-respect. Even if you don't go all the way, you can still struggle with feelings of guilt and low self-esteem. You can damage your relationship with your boyfriend, your parents, and God.
3. True love remains pure. Eventually, you will have problems in your relationship with your boyfriend if your thoughts or actions are impure. If your relationship is based on lust instead of love, it's bound to fail. Lust can damage even the truest love and corrupt even the closest soul mates. If you really want a wonderful relationship with your boyfriend, you will have a pure relationship with him.
Lust, at its very heart, is self-centered. Yet love is other-centered. Love is patient, love is kind. It is not self-seeking. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. (excerpts from 1 Corinthians 13) How can you really love someone if you're focused on meeting your own desires?
Now that all sounds pretty good, but is it really true? Let me give you some examples of why lust corrupts true love. First of all, if you are lusting after your boyfriend, you are really wanting to use him for your own benefit. Eventually, he's going to get sick of that. If you continue the pattern of lusting after him to fulfill your needs and wishes, he's going to ;resent you instead of love you. Nobody likes being used. Nobody likes being controlled and manipulated. And you can guarantee your boyfriend will hate, too.
Don't allow your boyfriend to act on his lust with you. If you do, you are just storing up trouble for yourself in the future. A lustful boyfriend or ;husband will likely do one or both of two things: 1) Be unfaithful to you by lusting after other girls and 2) Use and control you to fulfill his lust. Anyone who lusts tries to use and control others. And you don't want that kind of relationship.
My parting thought is this: If you lose your boyfriend because you have ;high standards, then he was worth losing. Stay away from lustful guys who want to use and control you. Look for a guy who loves God first and who loves you so much that he wants to do the right thing.
Complete
Many of us are wishing, praying, hoping and dreaming of having someone by our side...waiting for someone to drop from the sky or something. We would even try reading books about love and how to win it. And when you see that person, we would do anything just to make the person feel that he/she is loved. We sometimes sacrifice our own happiness just to be with the person we love. In the process, we all get hurt.
And then we would give-up thinking that love was never meant for us. The misconception of humans about love and relationship is that having someone with us will make us complete. But the fact is "Love is extending one's self to another." It means that before we enter a relationship, we should already be COMPLETE. Otherwise, if we think that having someone will make us complete, it's not a relationship. It's dependence
and it may not work out. When you are happy about yourself and you learn to love yourself, you may probably need not a partner (to a certain extent). Right now, I'm trying to love myself more and to accept completeness. What happens next will be another story. But for some who may be losing hope, this affirmation may help.
COMPLETE
Just because no one has been fortunate enough to realize what a gold mine you are, doesn't mean you shine any less.
Just because no one has been smart enough to figure out that you can't be topped, doesn't stop you from being the best.
Just because no one has come along to share your life, doesn't mean that day isn't coming.
Just because no one has made this race worthwhile, doesn't give you permission to stop running.
Just because no one has realized how much of a man/woman you are, doesn't mean they can effect your
masculinity/femininity.
Just because no one has come to take the loneliness away, doesn't mean you have to settle for a lower
quality.
Just because no one has shown up who can love you on your level, doesn't mean you have to sink to theirs.
Just because you deserve the very best there is, doesn't mean that life is always fair.
Just because God is still preparing your king/queen, doesn't mean that you're not already a queen/king.
Just because your situation doesn't seem to be progressing right now, doesn't mean you need to change a thing.
Keep shining,
Keep running,
Keep hoping,
Keep praying,
Keep being exactly what you are already,
COMPLETE.
The Paradox of Our Time, by George Carlin
The paradox of our time in history is that we have taller buildings but
shorter tempers; wider freeways, but narrower viewpoints. We spend more,
but have less; we buy more but enjoy less. We have bigger houses and smaller
families, more conveniences, but less time; we have more degrees, but less
sense; more knowledge, but less judgment; more experts, yet more problems,
more medicine, but less wellness.
We drink too much, smoke too much, spend too recklessly, laugh too little,
drive too fast, get too angry, stay up too late, get up too tired, read too
little, watch TV too much, and pray too seldom. We have multiplied our
possessions, but reduced our values.
We talk too much, love too seldom, and hate too often. We've learned how
to make a living, but not a life. We've added years to life not life to years.
We've been all the way to the moon and back, but have trouble-crossing the
street to meet a new neighbor. We conquered outer space but not inner space.
We've done larger things, but not better things. We've cleaned up the air,
but polluted the soul. We've conquered the atom, but not our prejudice.
We write more, but learn less. We plan more, but accomplish less.
We've learned to rush, but not to wait. We build more computers to hold
more information to produce more copies than ever, but we communicate less and
less.
These are the times of fast foods and slow digestion; big men and small
character; steep profits and shallow relationships. These are the days of
two incomes but more divorce, fancier houses but broken homes. These are
days of quick trips, disposable diapers, throw-away morality, one-night
stands, overweight bodies, and pills that do everything from cheer to quiet,
to kill. It is a time when there is much in the show window and nothing in
the stockroom.
A time when technology can bring this letter to you, and a time when you
can choose either to share this insight, or just hit delete. Remember; spend
some time with your loved ones, because they are not going to be around
forever.
Remember, say a kind word to someone who looks up to you in awe, because
that little person soon will grow up and leave your side. Remember, to give
a warm hug to the one next to you, because that is the only treasure you can
give with your heart and it doesn't cost a cent. Remember, to say "I Love
you" to your partner and your loved ones, but most of all mean it.
A kiss and an embrace will mend hurt when it comes from deep inside of you.
Remember to hold hands and cherish the moment for someday that person will
not be there again. Give time to Love, give time to speak, give time to
share the precious thoughts in your mind.
To all my friends in my life, thanks for being there!
shorter tempers; wider freeways, but narrower viewpoints. We spend more,
but have less; we buy more but enjoy less. We have bigger houses and smaller
families, more conveniences, but less time; we have more degrees, but less
sense; more knowledge, but less judgment; more experts, yet more problems,
more medicine, but less wellness.
We drink too much, smoke too much, spend too recklessly, laugh too little,
drive too fast, get too angry, stay up too late, get up too tired, read too
little, watch TV too much, and pray too seldom. We have multiplied our
possessions, but reduced our values.
We talk too much, love too seldom, and hate too often. We've learned how
to make a living, but not a life. We've added years to life not life to years.
We've been all the way to the moon and back, but have trouble-crossing the
street to meet a new neighbor. We conquered outer space but not inner space.
We've done larger things, but not better things. We've cleaned up the air,
but polluted the soul. We've conquered the atom, but not our prejudice.
We write more, but learn less. We plan more, but accomplish less.
We've learned to rush, but not to wait. We build more computers to hold
more information to produce more copies than ever, but we communicate less and
less.
These are the times of fast foods and slow digestion; big men and small
character; steep profits and shallow relationships. These are the days of
two incomes but more divorce, fancier houses but broken homes. These are
days of quick trips, disposable diapers, throw-away morality, one-night
stands, overweight bodies, and pills that do everything from cheer to quiet,
to kill. It is a time when there is much in the show window and nothing in
the stockroom.
A time when technology can bring this letter to you, and a time when you
can choose either to share this insight, or just hit delete. Remember; spend
some time with your loved ones, because they are not going to be around
forever.
Remember, say a kind word to someone who looks up to you in awe, because
that little person soon will grow up and leave your side. Remember, to give
a warm hug to the one next to you, because that is the only treasure you can
give with your heart and it doesn't cost a cent. Remember, to say "I Love
you" to your partner and your loved ones, but most of all mean it.
A kiss and an embrace will mend hurt when it comes from deep inside of you.
Remember to hold hands and cherish the moment for someday that person will
not be there again. Give time to Love, give time to speak, give time to
share the precious thoughts in your mind.
To all my friends in my life, thanks for being there!
Thoughts on Trust
Trust is an emotionally-charged concept that tells us very little about
how to behave so we are trusted by others. We treat it as a behavior,
when it is actually an outcome of performance in several dimensions.
When we say we want someone to trust us or we don't trust someone we are
making a summary statement. To really understand it, we have to get to
the components.
Competence
When you ask me if I trust you, you may really be asking whether
or not I think you are competent. Do I believe you do what you
represent yourself as being capable of doing?
Consistency
When you ask me if I trust you, you may be asking if I believe
that you are reliable, that you will deliver what you promise.
You may be asking if I trust your constancy.
Courage
You may be asking, do I think that you have courage? People who
have courage are willing to try new, creative and innovative
ways of doing things, of taking action even when we don't know
for cert ain the outcome we are likely to produce, of taking
actions that may be unpopular.
Character
You may be asking about character. One of the most basic
elements of character is integrity. Do you treat people
ethically and honestly in all of your dealings with them? Can I
trust you to tell me the truth as you know it? Are you
committed to improving yourself?
Caring
The way we treat people is a critical element of showing trust.
We trust people when we believe that they have our best
interests at heart in all our interactions. We trust people who
listen to us, even though they may disagree. We also get a
sense of how much to trust people by the amount of gossiping or
negative/blaming they do of other people.
Composure
The degree to which you serve as a role model for how to behave
under pressures and crises at work also reflects on your
trustworthiness. How well you manage your resistance to change,
how you deal with feedback, etc.
The Right Person
When we meet the right person to love
when we're at the right place, at the right time.
That's chance.
When you meet someone you're attracted to,
that's not a choice. That's chance.
Being caught up in a moment (and there's a lot of
couples who get together because of this) is not a choice,
that's also chance.
The difference is, what happens afterward?
When will you take that infatuation, that crush,
that mind-blowing attraction to the next level?
That's when all sanity goes back, you sit down and
then contemplate whether you want to make this
into a concrete relationship or just a fling.
If you decide to love the person, even with his
faults, that's not chance. That's choice.
When you choose to be with a person no matter what,
that's choice.
Even if you know there are many people out there who
are more attractive, smarter, and richer
than your mate, and yet, you decide to love your mate
just the same, that's choice.
Infatuation, crushes, attraction comes to us
by chance. But true love that lasts is truly a choice.
A choice that we make.
Regarding soulmates, there's a beautiful movie quote
that I believe is so true about this--"Fate brings you
together, but it's still up to you to make it happen."
I do believe that soulmates do exist. That there is truly
someone made for you. But it's still up to you to
make the choice if you're going to do something about
it or not. We may meet our soulmates by chance, but
loving and staying with our soulmate is still a choice
we have to make. =)
"You can only see the true colors of a human if you taste its heart"
Rules From God
Matthew 6:33
1. Wake Up !!
Decide to have a good day.
"Today is the day the Lord hath made;
let us rejoice and be glad in it."Psalms 118:24
2. Dress Up !!
The best way to dress up is to put on a smile.
A smile is an inexpensive way to improve your looks.
"The Lord does not look at the things man looks at.
Man looks at outward appearance;
but the Lord looks at the heart."I Samuel 16:7
3. Shut Up!!
Say nice things and learn to listen.
God gave us two ears and one mouth, so He must have meant
for us to do twice as much listening as talking.
"He who guards his lips guards his soul."Proverbs 13:3
4. Stand Up!!...
For what you believe in.
Stand for something or you will fall for anything.
"Let us not be weary in doing good; for at the proper time,
we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.
Therefore, as we have opportunity, let us do good..."Galatians 6:9-10
5. Look Up !!...
To the Lord.
"I can do everything through Christ who strengthens me".Philippians4:13
6. Reach Up !!...
For something higher.
"Trust in the Lord with all your heart,
and lean not unto your own understanding.
In all your ways, acknowledge Him,
and He will direct your path."Proverbs 3:5-6
7. Lift Up !!...
Your Prayers.
"Do not worry about anything; instead PRAY ABOUT EVERYTHING."Philippians 4:6
A POSITIVE THOUGHT-If God had a refrigerator, your picture would be on it.
-If He had a wallet, your photo would be in it. He sends you flowers every spring, and a sunrise every morning.
-Whenever you want to talk, He'll listen.
-He could live anywhere in the universe, and He chose your heart.
-What about the Christmas gift He sent you in Bethlehem; not to mention that Friday at Calvary. Face it, He's crazy
about you.
God answers Knee-Mail.
1. Wake Up !!
Decide to have a good day.
"Today is the day the Lord hath made;
let us rejoice and be glad in it."Psalms 118:24
2. Dress Up !!
The best way to dress up is to put on a smile.
A smile is an inexpensive way to improve your looks.
"The Lord does not look at the things man looks at.
Man looks at outward appearance;
but the Lord looks at the heart."I Samuel 16:7
3. Shut Up!!
Say nice things and learn to listen.
God gave us two ears and one mouth, so He must have meant
for us to do twice as much listening as talking.
"He who guards his lips guards his soul."Proverbs 13:3
4. Stand Up!!...
For what you believe in.
Stand for something or you will fall for anything.
"Let us not be weary in doing good; for at the proper time,
we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.
Therefore, as we have opportunity, let us do good..."Galatians 6:9-10
5. Look Up !!...
To the Lord.
"I can do everything through Christ who strengthens me".Philippians4:13
6. Reach Up !!...
For something higher.
"Trust in the Lord with all your heart,
and lean not unto your own understanding.
In all your ways, acknowledge Him,
and He will direct your path."Proverbs 3:5-6
7. Lift Up !!...
Your Prayers.
"Do not worry about anything; instead PRAY ABOUT EVERYTHING."Philippians 4:6
A POSITIVE THOUGHT-If God had a refrigerator, your picture would be on it.
-If He had a wallet, your photo would be in it. He sends you flowers every spring, and a sunrise every morning.
-Whenever you want to talk, He'll listen.
-He could live anywhere in the universe, and He chose your heart.
-What about the Christmas gift He sent you in Bethlehem; not to mention that Friday at Calvary. Face it, He's crazy
about you.
God answers Knee-Mail.
That's God
Happy moments, praise God.
Difficult moments, seek God.
Quiet moments, worship God.
Painful moments, trust God.
Every moment, thank God."
Have you ever been just sitting there and all of a sudden you feel like doing something nice for someone you care for... THAT'S GOD...He talks to you through the Holy Spirit.
Have you ever been down and out and nobody seems to be around for you to talk to... THAT'S GOD...He wants you to talk to Him.
Have you ever been thinking about somebody that you haven't seen in a long time and then next thing you know you see them or receive a phone call from them... THAT'S GOD... there is no such thing as "coincidence."
Have you ever received something wonderful that you didn't even ask for, like money in the mail or a debt that had mysteriously been cleared THAT'S GOD... He knows the desires of your heart...
Have you ever been in a situation and you had no clue how it is going to get better, but now you look back on it... THAT'S GOD... He passes us through tribulation to see a brighter day...
In all that we do, we should totally give HIM thanks and our blessings will continue to multiply.
For I am the Lord, your God, who takes hold of your right hand and says to you, Do Not fear, I will help you. (Isaiah 41:13)
"... if we hold on together... I know our dreams will never die..."
Difficult moments, seek God.
Quiet moments, worship God.
Painful moments, trust God.
Every moment, thank God."
Have you ever been just sitting there and all of a sudden you feel like doing something nice for someone you care for... THAT'S GOD...He talks to you through the Holy Spirit.
Have you ever been down and out and nobody seems to be around for you to talk to... THAT'S GOD...He wants you to talk to Him.
Have you ever been thinking about somebody that you haven't seen in a long time and then next thing you know you see them or receive a phone call from them... THAT'S GOD... there is no such thing as "coincidence."
Have you ever received something wonderful that you didn't even ask for, like money in the mail or a debt that had mysteriously been cleared THAT'S GOD... He knows the desires of your heart...
Have you ever been in a situation and you had no clue how it is going to get better, but now you look back on it... THAT'S GOD... He passes us through tribulation to see a brighter day...
In all that we do, we should totally give HIM thanks and our blessings will continue to multiply.
For I am the Lord, your God, who takes hold of your right hand and says to you, Do Not fear, I will help you. (Isaiah 41:13)
"... if we hold on together... I know our dreams will never die..."
Good Men
Good men are indeed all around us. We pass them on the streets, in the malls and the halls at work. Most we can't see because we don't know what a good man really looks like. He usually isn't flashy enough or rich enough to turn our heads. He might not wear a suit or push a BMW. He might not have a "body like
Arnold with a Denzel face. "But, as you mature, you realize it's better to find someone who's got your back than someone who turns your head. A good man doesn't agree whole heartedly with everything you say. He doesn't just tell you what you want to hear and do the opposite. He doesn't declare how sensitive, sweet, caring, sincere, yada yada he is (he wont have to because it shows). He has his own opinions and you may clash, but he doesn't have to degrade you to prove he's right. He even admits at times to being wrong, especially if you are willing to do the same.
A good man is not going to meet every item on your checklist. He is human with frailties and faults mixed in with all of his wonderful, strong attributes. He needs your love and respect. He needs to feel that you don't
live to "catch" him doing something wrong so you can declare, "Aha! I knew you were a dog!!" A good man doesn't necessarily give you a huge birthday or Valentine's gift. He shows his love in the ways that are comfortable to him. Don't judge him by TV standards(...Bold and the Beautiful...). No one is living that fairy tale for real. You'll miss out on your own fairy tale by buying into the myth that our men are no good. It's just not true. Men, we salute you, and thank you for who you are and all you've done.
Remember: Dwell not on the past. Use it to illustrate a point, then leave it behind. Nothing really matters except what you do now in this instant of time. From this moment onwards you can be an entirely different person, filled with love and understanding, ready with an outstretched hand, uplifted and positive in every thought and deed.
Eileen Caddy
(American Spiritual Writer)
Perfect Love
Here's the answer for those who are still single. :) God bless!
Perfect Love
In response to our longing to love and to be loved completely by another person, God's message to us is:
"No, not until you are satisfied, fulfilled and content with being loved by Me alone-with giving yourself totally
and unreservedly to me - to having an intensely personal and unique relationship that I have planned for you. You will never be united with another until you are united with me-exclusive of anyone or anything else -
exclusive of any desires or longings. I want you to stop planning, wishing and hoping and allow me to give
you the most thrilling plan in existence - one you cannot imagine. I want you to have the best. Please allow me to bring it to you.You just keep watching Me, expecting only the greatest things. Keep experiencing the satisfaction that I am. Keep listening and learning the things I tell you. Just have faith-that's all. Do not be anxious. Do not worry. Do not look around at the things I have given others. Do not look at the things that you think you want. Just keep looking off and away - up to Me, or you will miss what I am trying to show you.
And then, when you are ready, I will surprise you with a love far more wonderful than any you could dream of. You see, until you are ready, and until the one I have for you is ready (I am working even at this moment to have the both of you ready at the same time), you won't be able to experience the love that
exemplifies your relationship with Me, and is, thus, Perfect Love".
Jesus
Sister to Sister Encouragement
So often, we look at others and compare ourselves to them. And often, we
come up short. We look and say, "Oh she's 25 and she's done this, this,
this and this. Or we watch people who "have it all together" and we
begin to get down on ourselves. We find any number of ways to compare
ourselves to the next sister - and come up short....STOP!
There's a saying that the grass is always greener on the other
side.....Well, their water bill is higher too. And guess what? You can
have green grass also IF you seed, water and fertilize your lawn.
You can't have what somebody else has if you're not willing to go
through what they went through. But, that's another matter. Stop
comparing yourself to others. Love YOU!!!!
Each of us has our own thorns. Be it weight, single-parenting, job
dissatisfaction, husband problems, financial distress, children woes,
over-worked/underpaid issues, loneliness, confusion, self-doubt, etc.
You've got to love you, and if you can't do that right now, At least
quit comparing yourself to others, because you don't know what they are
going through.
Someone will always be prettier. They will always be smarter. Their
house will be bigger. They will drive a better car. Their children will
do better in school. And their husband will fix more things around the
house. So let it go, and love you and your circumstances. Think about
it. The prettiest sister in the world can have Hell all up in her heart.
And the most highly favored sister on your job may be unable to have
children. And the richest sister you know - she's got the car, the
house, the clothes - might be lonely. And the word says if I have not
Love, I am nothing.
So, again, love you. Love who you are right now and let God be your
barometer. Mirror Him. Look in the mirror in the morning and see how
much God you see. He's the only standard, and even when you come up
short, he will not leave you or forsake you.
Smile and may God continue to BLESS YOU Real GOOD!!
"I am too blessed to be stressed and too anointed to be disappointed!"
The shortest distance between a problem and a solution is the distance
between your knees and the floor.
"The one who kneels to God can stand up to anything."
"Winners make things happen. Losers let things happen."
this and this. Or we watch people who "have it all together" and we
begin to get down on ourselves. We find any number of ways to compare
ourselves to the next sister - and come up short....STOP!
There's a saying that the grass is always greener on the other
side.....Well, their water bill is higher too. And guess what? You can
have green grass also IF you seed, water and fertilize your lawn.
You can't have what somebody else has if you're not willing to go
through what they went through. But, that's another matter. Stop
comparing yourself to others. Love YOU!!!!
Each of us has our own thorns. Be it weight, single-parenting, job
dissatisfaction, husband problems, financial distress, children woes,
over-worked/underpaid issues, loneliness, confusion, self-doubt, etc.
You've got to love you, and if you can't do that right now, At least
quit comparing yourself to others, because you don't know what they are
going through.
Someone will always be prettier. They will always be smarter. Their
house will be bigger. They will drive a better car. Their children will
do better in school. And their husband will fix more things around the
house. So let it go, and love you and your circumstances. Think about
it. The prettiest sister in the world can have Hell all up in her heart.
And the most highly favored sister on your job may be unable to have
children. And the richest sister you know - she's got the car, the
house, the clothes - might be lonely. And the word says if I have not
Love, I am nothing.
So, again, love you. Love who you are right now and let God be your
barometer. Mirror Him. Look in the mirror in the morning and see how
much God you see. He's the only standard, and even when you come up
short, he will not leave you or forsake you.
Smile and may God continue to BLESS YOU Real GOOD!!
"I am too blessed to be stressed and too anointed to be disappointed!"
The shortest distance between a problem and a solution is the distance
between your knees and the floor.
"The one who kneels to God can stand up to anything."
"Winners make things happen. Losers let things happen."
10 Ways To Marry The Wrong Person
by Rabbi Dov Heller, M.A.
With the divorce rate over 50 percent, too many are apparently
making a serious mistake in deciding who to spend
the rest of their life with.
To avoid becoming a "statistic," try to internalize
these 10 insights.
#1. You pick the wrong person because you expect him/her to change after you're married.
The classic mistake. Never marry potential. The golden rule is, if you can't be happy with the person the way he or
she is now, don't get married. As a colleague of mine so wisely put it,
"You actually can expect people to change after their married... for the worst!"
So when it comes to the other person's spirituality, character, personal hygiene, communication skills, and
personal habits, make sure you can live with these as they are now.
#2. You pick the wrong person because you focus more on chemistry than on character.
Chemistry ignites the fire, but good character keeps it burning.
Beware of the "I'm in love" syndrome. "I'm in love" often means,
"I'm in lust." Attraction is there, but have you carefully checked
out this person's character?
Here are four character traits to definitely check for:
Humility: Does this person believe that "doing the right thing" is more important than personal comfort?
Do I want to be more like this person? Would I like my child to turn out like him or her?
Kindness: Does this person enjoy giving pleasure to other people?
How does s/he treat people s/he doesn't have to be nice to?
Does s/he do volunteer work? Give charity?
Responsibility: Can I depend on this person to do what s/he says s/he's going to do?
Happiness: Does this person like himself? Does s/he enjoy life?
Is s/he emotionally stable?
Ask yourself: Do I want to be more like this person?
Do I want to have a child with this person?
Would I like my child to turn out like him or her?
#3. You pick the wrong person because the man doesn't understand what a woman needs most.
Men and women have unique emotional needs, and more often than not,it is the man who just doesn't "get it."
Jewish tradition places the onus on the man to understand the emotional needs
of a woman and to satisfy them.
The unique need of a woman is to be loved -- to feel that she is the most important person in her husband's life.
The husband needs to give her consistent, quality attention.
This is most apparent in Judaism's approach to sexual intimacy. The Torah obligates the husband to meet the sexual
needs of his wife. Sexual intimacy is always on the woman's terms. Men are goal-oriented, especially when it comes this
area. As a wise woman once pointed out, "Men have two speeds: on and off.
" Women are experience-oriented.
When a man is able to switch gears and become more experience-oriented, he will discover what
makes his wife very happy.
When the man forgets about his own needs and focuses on giving his wife pleasure, amazing things happen.
#4. You choose the wrong person because you do not share common life goals and priorities.
There are three basic ways we connect with another person:
chemistry and compatibility
share common interests
share common life goal
Make sure you share the deeper level of connection that sharing life goals provide.
After marriage, the two of you will either grow together or grow apart.
To avoid growing apart , you must figure out
what you're "living for," while you're single --and then find
someone who has come to the same conclusion as you.
This is the true definition of a "soul mate." A soul mate is a goal
mate -- two people who ultimately share the same
understanding of life's purpose and therefore share the same
priorities, values and goals.
#5. You choose the wrong person because you get involved sexually too quickly.
Sexual involvement before the commitment of marriage can be a big problem because it often precludes a fully honest
exploration of important issues. Sexual involvement tends to cloud one's mind.
And a clouded mind is not inclined to make good decisions.
Of all the studies done on divorce, sexual incompatibility is never cited as a main factor.
It is not necessary to take a "test drive"in order to find out if a couple is sexually compatible.
If you do your homework and make sure you are intellectually and emotionally compatible,
you don't have to worry about sexual compatibility. Of all the studies done on divorce, sexual
incompatibility is never cited as a main reason why people divorce.
#6. You pick the wrong person because you do not have a deeper emotional connection with this person.
To evaluate whether you have a deeper emotional connection or not,ask:
"Do I respect and admire this person?" This does not mean,
"Am I impressed by this person?" We are impressed by a Mercedes.
We do not respect someone because they own a Mercedes.
You should be impressed by qualities of creativity,loyalty, determination, etc.
Also ask: "Do I trust this person?" This also means,
"Is he/she emotionally stable?
Do I feel I can rely on him/her?
#7. You pick the wrong person because you choose someone with whom you don't feel emotionally safe.
Ask yourself the following questions:
Do I feel calm, peaceful and relaxed with this person?
Can I fully be myself and express myself with this person?
Does this person make me feel good about myself?
Do you have a really close friend who does make you feel this way?
Make sure the person you marry makes you feel the same way!
Are you afraid of this person in any way?
You should not feel you need to monitor what you say because you are afraid of how the other person will view it.
If you're afraid to express your feelings and opinions openly, there's a problem with the relationship.
Be on the look out for someone who is always trying to change you.
Another aspect of feeling safe is that you don't feel the othe person is trying to control you.
Controlling behaviors are a sign of an abusive person.
Be on the look out for someone who is always trying to change you.
There's a big difference between "controlling" and "making suggestions.
" A suggestion is made for your benefit;
a control statement is made for their benefit.
#8. You pick the wrong person because you don't put everything on the table.
Anything that bothers you about the relationship must be brought up for discussion.
Bringing up the uncomfortable stuff is the only way to evaluate how well the two of you communicate,
negotiate, and work together.
Over the course of a lifetime, difficulties will inevitably arise.
You need to know now, before making a commitment:
Can you resolve your differences and find compromises that work for both of you?
Never be afraid to let the person know what bothers you.
This is also a way for you to test how vulnerable you can be with this person.
If you can't be vulnerable, then you can't be intimate.
Th two go hand in hand.
#9. You pick the wrong person because you use the relationship to escape from personal problems and unhappiness.
If you are unhappy and single, you'll probably be unhappy and married, too.
Marriage does not fix personal, psychological and emotiona problems.
If anything, marriage will exacerbate them.
If you are not happy with yourself and your life, take responsibility to fix i t now while you are single.
You'll feel better, and your future spouse will thank you.
#10. You pick the wrong person because he/she is involved in a triangle.
To be "triangulated" means a person is emotionally dependent o f someone or something else while trying to develop
another relationship. A person who hasn't separated from his or her parents is the classic example of triangulation.
People can also be triangulated with things as well, such as work, drugs, Internet, hobbies, sports or money.
Be careful that you and your partner are free of triangles.
The person caught in the triangle cannot be fully emotionally available to you.
You will not be their number one priority.
And that's no basis for a marriage.
Antidotes to Pride
It is our emptiness & lowliness that God needs & not our plenitude. These are a few ways we can practice humility:
Speak as little as possible of oneself.
Mind one's own business.
Avoid curiosity.
Do not want to manage other people's affairs.
Accept contradiction & correction cheerfully.
Pass over the mistakes of others.
Accept blame when innocent.
Yield to the will of others.
Accept insults & injuries.
Accept being slighted,forgotten, & disliked.
Be kind & gentle even under provocation.
Do not seek to be specially loved & admired.
Never stand on one's dignity.
Yield in discussion even though one is right.
Choose always the hardest.
- Mother Teresa of Calcutta
Most and Greatest
The most destructive habit..............................Worry
The greatest Joy............................................Giving
The greatest loss...........................................Loss of self-respect
The most satisfying work................................Helping others
The ugliest personality trait.............................Selfishness
The most endangered species........................Dedicated leaders
Our greatest natural resource.........................Our youth
The greatest "shot in the arm"........................Encouragement
The greatest problem to overcome...................Fear
The most effective sleeping pill........................Peace of mind
The most crippling failure disease....................Excuses
The most powerful force in life..........................Love
The most dangerous pariah.............................A gossiper
The world's most incredible computer...............The brain
The worst thing to be without........................... Hope
The deadliest weapon.....................................The tongue
The two most power-filled words......................."I Can"
The greatest asset..........................................Faith
The most worthless emotion............................Self-pity
The most beautiful attire..................................SMILE!
The most prized possession........................... Integrity
The most powerful channel of communication....Prayer
The most contagious spirit..............................Enthusiasm
The greatest Joy............................................Giving
The greatest loss...........................................Loss of self-respect
The most satisfying work................................Helping others
The ugliest personality trait.............................Selfishness
The most endangered species........................Dedicated leaders
Our greatest natural resource.........................Our youth
The greatest "shot in the arm"........................Encouragement
The greatest problem to overcome...................Fear
The most effective sleeping pill........................Peace of mind
The most crippling failure disease....................Excuses
The most powerful force in life..........................Love
The most dangerous pariah.............................A gossiper
The world's most incredible computer...............The brain
The worst thing to be without........................... Hope
The deadliest weapon.....................................The tongue
The two most power-filled words......................."I Can"
The greatest asset..........................................Faith
The most worthless emotion............................Self-pity
The most beautiful attire..................................SMILE!
The most prized possession........................... Integrity
The most powerful channel of communication....Prayer
The most contagious spirit..............................Enthusiasm
Chastity Q&A For Catholics
This was taken from Pure Love Club on Catholic Answers web site.
Q. Is it love?
A. The following test was designed by the popular radio talk show host Dr. Laura. After taking this test, you'll quickly know whether your relationship has a good chance of growing into a long-lasting relationship, and maybe even marriage. Print this page, and then answer each question with "yes" or "no." After taking the test, check your score results below. Afterwards, have your boyfriend/girlfriend take the test to see how you compare. Most importantly, be honest! Your future happiness depends on it.
1_____ Can you say there's no jealousy in your relationship?
2_____ Is your relationship free of drug and alcohol abuse?
3_____ Can you say you're never asked to compromise your moral values?
4_____ Do you appreciate and enjoy each other's family and friends?
5_____ Have you discussed your long-term goals for faith, family and career in detail?
6_____ Do you have complete confidence in each other?
7_____ Has experience shown him/her to always be truthful and open with you?
8_____ Does he/she always follow through on promises and commitments?
9_____ Do you talk openly and easily with each other about everything? (Including this test?)
10_____ Do you both listen carefully to one another and try to understand each other's point of view?
11_____ Do you practice the same faith by praying and going to church together regularly?
12_____ Do you both agree that marriage is forever?
13_____ Do you refrain from using manipulation or blackmail to get your own way?
14_____ Do you like spending time together doing different activities? (Not just watching TV, mall shopping or talking on the phone together. I recommend volunteering for church, charity and civic projects -- or joining school clubs, bands, debate teams or sports programs.)
15_____ When you have a disagreement or the going gets tough, do both of you respond respectfully with patience and understanding?
16_____ Have your family and friends told you they approve of your relationship -- that they feel it's making you a better person?
17_____ Do you limit your physical relationship to holding hands and simple kisses?
18_____ Have you seen each other during good times and bad? (Virtues shine during adversity. Never rush to marriage. You'll miss critical signs of good or bad character traits.)
19_____ Do you both stay away from pornographic magazines, videos, internet, etc.?
20_____ If your future spouse had a serious accident that maimed or disfigured him/her for life, would your love remain strong? Could your love survive without physical expression?
21_____ Do each of you dress, speak and act modestly?
22_____ Can you admit your own shortcomings and discuss them openly?
23_____ Are you both generous in making sacrifices for others?
24_____ Does your sweetheart already have the qualities needed to be a super spouse and a wonderful parent for your children?
25_____ Are you willing to give up power and let your loved one control some of the important decisions and circumstances? (True love means frequently surrendering your will to meet your loved one's needs and wishes without violating your moral values.)
Here's the Scoring . . .
Scoring: Give yourself one point for each "yes" answer and zero points for each "no" answer.
(Her score?____ His Score?____)
22 to 25 pts. "Solid as a Rock!". . . It's True Love! Congratulations on a very strong relationship.
19 to 21 pts. "Looking Good!". . . You're relationship has good potential. With a little work, you can become "Solid as a Rock."
15 to 18 pts. "Warning Signals!". . . It might be "Infatuation." Work on the "No's." Take the test again in 6 months and again in 12 months. Hopefully your scores will improve and your relationship will grow. If your relationship doesn't greatly improve within a year, you should consider ending it.
Below 15 pts. "Red Alert!". . . Sorry, this may be painful to hear, but it's probably time to say "goodbye." It's either blind infatuation or there are other serious problems. (If you're married and you scored below 15 points, don't give up -- get some good marriage counseling ASAP.)
** Bonus Question **
Are both of you committed to saving sex for marriage? If yes, add 2 points to your score.
Important Tip from Dr. Laura . . .
"It's difficult to get an accurate reading from my Is it Love? test if you're sexually active. Sex is so powerful that it's often blinding before marriage. That's one of the reasons I say, 'Don't shack up!' If you're sexually active, my first recommendation is to stop having sex immediately. With sex out of the picture, it will be easier to see how each of you responds in the critical areas that build strong, healthy, lasting relationships. It's definitely challenging to save sex for marriage - but it's worth the wait and it helps assure a happier marriage. Go ahead - make the commitment. You'll be glad you waited!"
Used With Permission of Dr. Laura Schlessinger and LoveMatters.com
A. The following test was designed by the popular radio talk show host Dr. Laura. After taking this test, you'll quickly know whether your relationship has a good chance of growing into a long-lasting relationship, and maybe even marriage. Print this page, and then answer each question with "yes" or "no." After taking the test, check your score results below. Afterwards, have your boyfriend/girlfriend take the test to see how you compare. Most importantly, be honest! Your future happiness depends on it.
1_____ Can you say there's no jealousy in your relationship?
2_____ Is your relationship free of drug and alcohol abuse?
3_____ Can you say you're never asked to compromise your moral values?
4_____ Do you appreciate and enjoy each other's family and friends?
5_____ Have you discussed your long-term goals for faith, family and career in detail?
6_____ Do you have complete confidence in each other?
7_____ Has experience shown him/her to always be truthful and open with you?
8_____ Does he/she always follow through on promises and commitments?
9_____ Do you talk openly and easily with each other about everything? (Including this test?)
10_____ Do you both listen carefully to one another and try to understand each other's point of view?
11_____ Do you practice the same faith by praying and going to church together regularly?
12_____ Do you both agree that marriage is forever?
13_____ Do you refrain from using manipulation or blackmail to get your own way?
14_____ Do you like spending time together doing different activities? (Not just watching TV, mall shopping or talking on the phone together. I recommend volunteering for church, charity and civic projects -- or joining school clubs, bands, debate teams or sports programs.)
15_____ When you have a disagreement or the going gets tough, do both of you respond respectfully with patience and understanding?
16_____ Have your family and friends told you they approve of your relationship -- that they feel it's making you a better person?
17_____ Do you limit your physical relationship to holding hands and simple kisses?
18_____ Have you seen each other during good times and bad? (Virtues shine during adversity. Never rush to marriage. You'll miss critical signs of good or bad character traits.)
19_____ Do you both stay away from pornographic magazines, videos, internet, etc.?
20_____ If your future spouse had a serious accident that maimed or disfigured him/her for life, would your love remain strong? Could your love survive without physical expression?
21_____ Do each of you dress, speak and act modestly?
22_____ Can you admit your own shortcomings and discuss them openly?
23_____ Are you both generous in making sacrifices for others?
24_____ Does your sweetheart already have the qualities needed to be a super spouse and a wonderful parent for your children?
25_____ Are you willing to give up power and let your loved one control some of the important decisions and circumstances? (True love means frequently surrendering your will to meet your loved one's needs and wishes without violating your moral values.)
Here's the Scoring . . .
Scoring: Give yourself one point for each "yes" answer and zero points for each "no" answer.
(Her score?____ His Score?____)
22 to 25 pts. "Solid as a Rock!". . . It's True Love! Congratulations on a very strong relationship.
19 to 21 pts. "Looking Good!". . . You're relationship has good potential. With a little work, you can become "Solid as a Rock."
15 to 18 pts. "Warning Signals!". . . It might be "Infatuation." Work on the "No's." Take the test again in 6 months and again in 12 months. Hopefully your scores will improve and your relationship will grow. If your relationship doesn't greatly improve within a year, you should consider ending it.
Below 15 pts. "Red Alert!". . . Sorry, this may be painful to hear, but it's probably time to say "goodbye." It's either blind infatuation or there are other serious problems. (If you're married and you scored below 15 points, don't give up -- get some good marriage counseling ASAP.)
** Bonus Question **
Are both of you committed to saving sex for marriage? If yes, add 2 points to your score.
Important Tip from Dr. Laura . . .
"It's difficult to get an accurate reading from my Is it Love? test if you're sexually active. Sex is so powerful that it's often blinding before marriage. That's one of the reasons I say, 'Don't shack up!' If you're sexually active, my first recommendation is to stop having sex immediately. With sex out of the picture, it will be easier to see how each of you responds in the critical areas that build strong, healthy, lasting relationships. It's definitely challenging to save sex for marriage - but it's worth the wait and it helps assure a happier marriage. Go ahead - make the commitment. You'll be glad you waited!"
Used With Permission of Dr. Laura Schlessinger and LoveMatters.com
Forgiveness Is For Everyone: To Forgive and Be Forgiven
Greetings, brothers & sisters in Christ :)
Here are my notes from the Theology on Tap that took place on Sept. 22, 2004:
Forgiveness: the ability to accept God's grace to let go
When you decide to forgive yourself & others, you go through a healing process.
Not forgiving loses all compassion.
Forgiveness begins in family because that's where hurt occurs.
Hard to forgive those you love, but easy to forgive strangers.
It's in God's command to follow in His footsteps.
Need to forgive even if they haven't asked for forgiveness.
Let the person go - it's God's problem.
God commands to love everyone, but you don't have to like everyone.
God forgives the sin; we forgive the person.
Humility & forgiveness go hand-in-hand.
Humility is the answer to everything.
If you don't forgive those who trespass, why should the Father forgive you?
The other person needs to make the decision to change.
God didn't say you had to be their best friend, but if you have the opportunity to help that person, it's your duty to help.
If someone hurt you, tell them.
Marriage and Annulments: Why Catholic Marriages Fail Today
Here are my notes from the Theology on Tap that was held on Sept. 29, 2004:
Marriage is the image of the covenant that Christ has made with His church.
First five years of marriage, time, sex, & money become issues.
Time & relationships...
Marriages don't fail because of poor sex.
Debt brought into marriage.
1/2 cohabit before marriage...higher divorce rate because it's contrary to will of God as revealed by Christ.
Sexual union is reserved for marriage.
Without marital commitment, cohabitating couple knows they can walk out that door & mindset carries into marriage. Sex becomes focus, intimacy doesn't develop during courtship...cheapens or diminishes richness of God's gift.
Sex is complete gift of self to another with openness to life.
If you're not having sex outside of marriage, don't start; if you're having sex outside of marriage, stop.
Flags in relationship - sexually-involved individuals may marry because they gave themselves to each other.
Annulment: void something that was...was this marriage a sacrament or not? Grave defect in discretion of judgment (if person didn't intend to be completely faithful to their spouse; divorce as an option; someone from beginning doesn't want to have children; marry for immigration reasons)
KNOW what marriage is, know partner & know self
Freely CHOOSE marriage.
KNOWING & CHOOSING is key
As for premarital pregnancy, don't compound a problem with another.
There isn't just "one" out there.
We all have "shadows" - better to know what ours are & what the other person's is. Know their upbringing & if it could possibly affect the relationship.
How does someone respond in stress?
Anything you see in courtship period is only going to come out/intensify in marriage.
Marry non-Catholic only if there's no expectation that they will eventually become or convert to Catholic.
300 annulments per year reported in diocese.
Good indicators need to be present for a marriage within a short period of time: shared values, support from family, etc.
Annulment is judgment of spiritual reality.
Problems in relationship may not be the couple, but from past dynamic with father or mother.
Weddings in this country are such a big production, we often don't realize that this is for a lifetime.
If you love someone the way they are right now, go for it, but not if you intend to change that person.
Red flags: infatuation
Listen to your own heart, you'll know when you see that (values) in someone else & you know that this is right & what God has called them to - is this someone open to growing spiritually?
Let that stressful situation bring out the best in them, persevere, not to give up.
With other Christians, we have way more in common than we have differences.
Another key is the friends you have. There needs to be a healthy balance.
How do I handle conflict? How did my family handle conflict? How was it expressed in family growing up?
God turns our wounds into blessings. You can be a gift for someone else later.
Shared weakness is our greatest strength.
Become best friends or it's not what it could be.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)